noise

the noise comes loud the noise comes soft

i cannot stop the noise from deafening

a thousand voices clamoring

for me to be some way

as years increase the decibels match

the demands escalate in step

i'm too much or not enough

but mostly just me

the pervasive lie behind the noise dictates

the change will win for me acclaim

the crowd with love my name

whatever it may be

i wrap a cloak of apathy to shield me from the pain

to try and stay true to my way

resist the camouflage

but it's in vain

passion is pain and life is pain so they say

regardless of the road i take

i must make a stand

choose this day

the way i walk is solitary in this forest dim

i have not found a soul to join

to be unique takes strength

and lonely courage

in the end it's not my choice to shout

i want not my own words

to make some lasting noise

let glory be my voice

walk with me

sometimes the way is damp

although the stream is dry

and when I hope for some kind word

the people pass me by

the trees that shade the sun

breathe chillness in the air

and though I long for warmer days

fall's coming everywhere

when down the path I ran

you lagged a ways behind

but when I slowed you sped ahead

what did you have in mind

the faces through the years

some stay while others go 

if winter's frost were tempered down

they could relax I know

the road can stretch for miles

so lonely is the way

my steps don't match the friends I've had

and I've no place to stay

but in the stillness deep

the whisper still can come

the narrow path is worth the risk

the ending lies at home

miles to go

the miles roll into the thousands 

as the asphalt ribbon ebbs and flows

waving fields of grass bend and bow

before the wind with few trees to break 

silence lives in the middle of nowhere 

heavy as the billowing clouds at dusk 

testimony to words unspoken 

a life unlived in exchange for endless sky

the promise of no walls to constrict 

compensation for no arms to enfold

the plains keeps their secrets well

only a few know the allure and reward

of horizons that never disappoint

satisfaction in relentless labour 

oblivion to restless millions captured 

by the concrete prisons that are never still

stillness is a gateway to eternal peace 

a glimpse of something yet to come 

as the miles roll into the thousands 

against

the edge of my island is always in view

as billows of sea waves roll

and though i am sure of how it's secure

the pounding does take its toll

i've built up my stand with a few sturdy bricks

i sit here in certainty

watching the rest buffet forward and aft

alone it sometimes must be

the thunderous roar of prevailing winds

cannot ever knock me down

though ship after ship sinks right to the depths

i'm safe on the high ground

ironic it is on my sandy shore

that more don't join me here

preferring instead to be tossed all about

while i'm without any fear

no flags fly above the soft golden sands

i'm rather incognito

keeping still as they bellow to another

it's better they don't know

no shame in my snug little peaceful hut

but the storm-tossed can't think straight

seeing just the sea where the next wave may be 

everything else becomes bait

my heart takes courage as my i glimpse in the east 

others who are standing true

i'm not alone in this turbulent night

he has preserved a few

someone once wisely said to pick battles

with kids who are immature

i smile and nod and choose to say not a word 

the world blindly seeks a cure

Retail Therapy

The shopkeeper's glad it's raining

the folks straggle in from the wet

buy trinkets and things

from places unseen

in hopes they might travel there yet.

The shoppers are dreaming of sunshine

of gold coast and blue coast and west

throw coins in the till 

like a deep wishing well

and pray for a chance just to rest.

The days go around like a circus

the same show for different eyes

each new little thing

that comes into the ring

they greet with authentic surprise.

The shopkeeper closes up tight

he thinks of a day without rain

when sorrow and sighs

and customer whys

no longer are his to maintain.

Tomorrows dance away in his mind

he wonders how far he could go

if all he had saved

from yesterday's rain

was more than just melted snow.

Sticking Points and Straws

Rich sang "we are not as strong as we think we are" and the adage rings true. Sure, stories of heroism and fidelity abound but in reality we give up quite easily. Superficially commitments may seem cast-iron yet even the most dedicated are probably avoiding working on things that grate one against the other. Many would relish a trip to the dentist rather than tell their boss or their dear friend how much the way they talk to them bothers them. The rugs in the living rooms of our houses are becoming couches with all the avoided issues we sweep under them.

One might ask why when we're all in the same boat, all imperfect, all growing, all deep down wanting to learn how to love better, do we run away from the very thing that would help draw us closer to each other and give us the very thing we desire. The nuanced answer looks different to each wounded heart but I suspect that it's tied to the facet of mistrust: we doubt that when push comes to shove the other person would still choose to press in, to love, to stay with us no matter what.

Those sticking points and straws that break the camel's back are not just spectres that haunt the faces of our loved ones. We all have the metaphorical lines we've drawn in the sand, the things we promise ourselves we would never tolerate. We hide, run, fight, the very ones trying to find common ground because they come packaged in their own imperfections and relational quirks. What if we were the people we desired to know across the table? What if we chose to take a deep breath and not run, not fight, not hide our broken hearts but say in spite of the disappointment, in spite of the aches I will love and I will stay? 

OtR sings, "I will listen long as I am able/There's no place I'd rather be." We were born to love. This world and our brokenness fights the capacity until we give up all too quickly. It's not just fireworks and moonbeams. It's staying the course, holding each other when it's easier to let go. That's who I want to entwine my life with. Daily the temptation comes to just skip it but that's also who I want to be. Past the point of giving up let's find the Reason to stay.