on a day when the sun whirled in the sky with joy i took a long Wandern on the hill above where i currently lay my head. vineyards roll along the southern side like a net, catching the happy sun and turning its rays into juice. it's definitely fall, late october even, yet the strength of the sun warranted no jacket and i felt pleasantly warmed, except when a shadow crossed my path and the breeze which before felt refreshing revealed its chill underside that whispered of snows to come.
at moments the beauty of the red leaves dancing in the sunlight took my breath away and as i contemplated such display it gave me pause to remember that their beauty came only through dying. these leaves, most of the year green and strong, burst forth in vibrant hues for perhaps only days before they detach and fall to the ground.
falling, dying, beauty.
there comes this release, this falling in dying. i once heard that if you dream you are falling and you don't wake before you hit the bottom it means you died. true or not, dying involves letting go of the fight to live, the right to control my breathing moments. but this is not merely physical death for me. no, i choose daily to let go of this right. to recognize that Someone--the One--truly carries me and i no longer live in the sense that this grasping, dead world demands. and in that death--so, so unlike the end of this earthly life--is such beauty that it takes my breath away as much as those dying leaves. i am falling, every day, in every uncertain moment, and yet i know Who will catch me.
at moments the beauty of the red leaves dancing in the sunlight took my breath away and as i contemplated such display it gave me pause to remember that their beauty came only through dying. these leaves, most of the year green and strong, burst forth in vibrant hues for perhaps only days before they detach and fall to the ground.
falling, dying, beauty.
there comes this release, this falling in dying. i once heard that if you dream you are falling and you don't wake before you hit the bottom it means you died. true or not, dying involves letting go of the fight to live, the right to control my breathing moments. but this is not merely physical death for me. no, i choose daily to let go of this right. to recognize that Someone--the One--truly carries me and i no longer live in the sense that this grasping, dead world demands. and in that death--so, so unlike the end of this earthly life--is such beauty that it takes my breath away as much as those dying leaves. i am falling, every day, in every uncertain moment, and yet i know Who will catch me.
