a sunny monday in eternity...

i feel the bright sun like an elixar lift my spirits, soaring above my cares.
alright, then. so i see in me the failing coping mechanisms that hurt others. scratching deeper i see the fears of abandonment, the scars of rejection that spew out the defensive strategies of independence, jealousy, escapism. but deeper still i see that He is in me. He desires change. healing.
so how? practically, how? well, how did He do it? after all, He experienced everything i am, have or will experience...yet without in turn causing pain. He hung up there and said that a thief will see paradise. no angry words.
i close my eyes as the next thought takes me captive.
He said, “Father, forgive them; they know not what they do.” forgive them. forgive them. forgive the people that hurt me without realizing they are doing it. forgive the people that hurt me because they are broken and hurting and, like a dog in pain lash out against the very hand that longs to heal. forgive the people that don’t know how to love me. forgive the people that i don’t know how to love and so feel only hurt because of my raw places.
i shiver, even though the sun is warm.
such love, such forgiveness...it’s too grand, i can barely take it in. but i glimpse it. this morning, in this sunlight, i see a another piece of what it would mean to love with abandon, a love that transforms.
“Father, forgive ______; he/she doesn’t know what he/she’s doing.”