from sea to shining sea

Yesterday the Pacific sea left a sand dollar, not quite round, resting on the sands of the Oregon coast. Here begins its journey, where golden beaches lapped by ice-blue waters give way to towering tree-lined cliffs. In the coming forty days it will traverse the expansive nation from state to state, the journey of an imperfect sand dollar. What adventures will it find along the way before it comes to rest on the shores of the Atlantic? The empty shell of a life that’s past, will it find a new existence in faces full of memories? All the while its simple beauty may bring a smile to hearts far and near.

The journey begins…

down the trail

the shadows are deep on the path ahead 

no voices are heard in the deep midday gloom 

but I press on for the trail must be traveled 

the narrow steps forward between me and home 

I hear not a sound save the hum of a fly and 

the scent of pine needles tickles my nose 

I drink in the forest enjoying the cool 

of the tall prickly sentinels that hush 

the brash sunshine before me behind me 

the way twists and turns and trees without number 

march mile upon mile as mind mind flits far 

I shiver a moment and sidestep some scat 

wondering now how solo I am really 

could the trunks become glass how near 

would I see that cougar or that bear observing 

my way then a breeze comes again just a sigh 

like an echo I remember the shadows 

so like the veil and could all fade away 

alone I would never be

one plus zero doesn't equal two

i hear your voice clearly

you're just within reach

your words proclaim strongly

the message you preach

but when the door closes

and i'm left here alone

your words become empty

as still as the phone

you never put flesh 

to your friendly embraces

true though they may be

to other chosen faces

the hardest of sayings

are the ones left unspoken

like the promise of water

where the well pump is broken

how am i to believe

all this life's meant to be

when alone i can never

grasp the one thing i need

surrender january 2022

You're asking for it back

what You gave me i give You

i'm living on borrowed time

after all i've seen and had

merely tools and opportunities

to bring an exponential increase

so why am i tempted to bury it

as if the treasure could slip away

when in fact it isn't mine to guard

merely steward, tend and offer

what little is in my care

voices whisper You are hard

demanding what my efforts bring

i'm looking at what i do not have

finding darkness in losing this

what isn't even mine at all

in anguish struggling to believe

i swallow past the lump

and as air fills my lungs i remember

my very breath belongs to You

a kaleidoscope of days with grace

moment after moment You

providing protecting promising

in every painful surrender

You've been there abundant

growing this stubborn child

so i'm giving it back

with only a hint of reluctance

knowing You know best

how to spend my borrowed time

the path narrows

aspens maples dying in a blaze of colour

the air biting through my windbreaker

early nights serenaded by falling rain

past dusky sunsets until misty mornings

faces turned upward to the sunlight

elusive and gentle through the clouds

as leaves fly before temperamental winds

i stumble down the path each solitary day

as sunbreaks follow chilly nights again

each day losing the battle against the dark

the window of daylight narrowing

as i smell the acrid scent of death

but around the way a sight appears

autumn crocus in lavender and white

a carpet of colour in the brownscape

laughing in life in the face of decay

and hope wells up in the straitness

though my limbs be weighed down

though the mist clouds my eyes

i will dance again in the dawning

when the narrow path ends

when it rains

i'm not ready this year for the silver drops

caught between a summer to forget and

falling into a complicated tomorrow

all the dying that wells up like puddles

between the muddy tracks of life lived

without enough jars to hold the dreams

it's pouring down whatever i think so i

simply listen to the splash as shards

today's arrows attacking what was

screaming what is rather than could be

i pull the covers up almost over my head

is this crazy world really what has come

does a graceful way to tap out remain

or must i find a way to dig in damp soil

take the present tense and make it new

no reserves no retreats no regrets

a new level of living beyond skin-deep

how it tears the blood to find the way

each wet splash reminds me that it comes

watering the ground bringing change

death rearranges in the dark but life will come

if i can find the hope to not remain alone

feverish

everything is too bright and loud

as i wrap my shawl closer and shiver

sweat pours down my side

in my brain it feels like fireworks

small blood vessels snapping in defeat

as the virus plows through my body

leaving destruction in its wake

i close my eyes and embrace oblivion

the only place i can escape the scourge

temporarily the day reminds me

as i wake to the energy bank depleted

trapped in skin tingling at the air

forcing myself to eat, stay awake

until i can find the dark quiet again