21 February 2009
on rough times
this week i thought a lot about how it feels when you reach the end of yourself. other times i've found frustration there, or emotional fatigue. but this time as i found myself with empty hands and heart, the questions burying me, i realized something new. i realized there is peace there as well. a peace when you are walking on air, nothing sustaining you but His hand. a peace that is as wonderful as it feels illogical. between the tears i know He sees the reasons i can't. disconcerting unfounded giddiness, akin to when i pass the tired point and i feel euphoric and artificially awake. and so i wait, realizing that this patience He continually tries to teach me comes only through letting go and "gracefully fall back to the arms of grace".
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Reminds me of the end of a song,
ReplyDelete"I can't see how you're leading me, unless you led me here, where I'm lost enough to let myself be led. And so you've been here all along I guess. It's just you way and you are just plain hard to get"
(Hard to Get, by Rich Mullins)