some thoughts have been germinating in my head and a stray comment yesterday revealed some fruit. when i was younger i observed some marriages that, while they were committed to each other to “death do us part”, there was not much love lost. i resolved that would never be me, i would never marry until my passionate soul found its match. lately, however, i have realized how necessary commitment is to a relationship, especially a marriage. this is not just commitment to the other person, but commitment to God first and to shared ideals, vision, etc. in some marriages now i see this unswerving devotion played out as a foundation that supports them through rough and rich times.
when two resolve, for better or for worse, to a relationship it means not only while emotions last, or if they last. it means that they are decided to encourage, confront, commiserate, and so on. this foundation gives them both the confidence to say hard things, knowing that it will all be taken from the mutual vantage point of love.
what happens when such fidelity is found in a relationship is inexpressibly beautiful. but pain can come easily, especially when in any situation you discover that what you meant by “commitment” was not what they meant, and you find the storm has come and they are now on another shore. the realization that they did not value the relationship enough to fight for it can destroy you.
yet come back to the foundation: to whom am i committed? to the One who committed to me before the foundations of the world, while i denied His name, when i refused His love. not only when i did not hold up my end of the bargain, but when i spit on and refused His love. if He, who gave so much for me--that i can never, ever conceivably repay--asks simply that i bear the pain and love on, can i refuse?
for this i look, and ask the void: can we live in commitment? is it possible this side of glory? and not just in matrimonial relationships, but family and friends as well? and for myself, can i move past the failures and not fear giving my heart to people?
Yes. Relationships are difficult, because you have to be willing to commit beyond just the "happy-go-fuzzy" feelings.
ReplyDeleteBut, I think it's impossible to completely commit ourselves like that without the love that God has given us. We are sinful, selfish creatures, and we cannot do that on our own. At least not forever. But God is good.