gathering dust

Sitting on my shelf is a new iPod touch, purchased for my trip. I haven't turned it on or set it up; it's still in the case. I got it a couple weeks before I was scheduled to leave and just a few days before Apple decided to close all their stores. I cannot return it...at least not right now. Maybe I don't want to return it. It sits gathering dust while I relegate it to that part of my mind that is half in denial the world is as it is and not as it should be.

It's a holding pattern. More than a week passed before I unpacked my bags because, after all, am I staying? Will I go again? What would staying even look like? No job is temporarily suspended, no jobs are really available in this climate. Of course, would I even want one if one turned up? Waiting.

Avoiding decisions like the space grey iPod. After all, most decisions are out of my hands. Even Costco doesn't want my temporary assistance. The few clamouring voices I can tackle may include what to eat and when to exercise and whether nine hours of sleep on a consistent basis is healthy but they seem hollow in light of the silent ones like what now, God?

Restlessness stirs some moments but most pulse with a hesitant expectancy. When the whole world lays aside individual freedom for a perhaps overrated virus something big must be coming. At the very least, life as I know it is over. Like Frodo we can never go home again. It's a brave new world.

Maranatha