scrub. spray. wipe.

i clean bathrooms. i have seen more brown stains than i care to remember, smelled more foul odors that turn stomachs, and learnt more about people's toiletry habits than i ever wanted to know. it has been a humbling job to have, and this week i realized it's a metaphor for my life.

some days it seems that as much as i clean, the stains never go away. and anyway, in a few minutes someone else will use it, dirty the sink, fill the garbage and i will have to start over again. and thus in life, i work. i pray. i try. i try some more. and then someone says something and i respond incorrectly and i am doing the very thing i hate.

sadly, i know by the very attitude that of course i need to clean more bathrooms--it still hasn't worked; i'm still not humble yet. so i guess it's His faithfulness, when i say "but, God..." and He says, "scrub." "but i have a Masters!" "spray," He replies. "but there must be something more noble, more useful, more stirring, more something!" and He points to the rag, "wipe."

some days all i want to do is run away. from the people i love. from the people who love me. from everyone else. but i clean bathrooms. maybe i will never do anything else. but if i die humble, maybe in the grand scheme of things it will be worth it.