splash

i'm watching the rain
dancing silver flashes
under an unrelenting slate sky
while the asphalt reflects
and cars splash by
like a symphony of water
the larger puddles host bursts
quick ripples of wet on wet
the noise lost to most
streams begin to form and flow
slowly into hungry storm sewers
streetlights burst to life
though the night is far off
a world lost in distraction
i pull my coast closer
wonder at the musical
peaceful roar ignored
yet beautiful nonetheless

hunger

my constant companion
sometimes near or not
speaking loudly or still
like arms wrapped tight
around my waist it's here
regardless of my moves
it pokes me and prods me
never letting me forget
that i'm neglectful
i know what could stop it
but i resist in hope
so much more waits
could i but push through
see
filling comes in many ways
i want to feast on life
more abundantly
find the fullness
that never ends
until someday this thing
stays here while i depart
and i eat food i do not know
hasta siempre

caffeine withdrawal

first i thought it wasn't so bad
the fingers of pain behind my eyes
then it spread to the rest of my head
as if a boa constrictor formed a turban
massaging the temples i prayer for release
sat warming my pain by the heat
until suddenly the escalation
came without warning in nauseous waves
over and over until i was sure i.
that's it just i and the end
for a few moments before it broke
i knew i would lose it and hurl
but body and soul are still together
may this discipline alight my spirit
it's drastic enough to do so
when all else fails take away
the crutches the habits
the noisy little foxes
make way with palm branches
though my head still throbs
i'm clinging to hope
and tomorrow's promise of less

when's day

the rain forecast
came like a mouse
timid and small and rarely seen
i read again
some words of hope
basked in a sudden sunbeam
my quiet eve
is filled with talk
friends near and far who called
i brushed the edge
of winter past
long filled with things recalled
my creaky bones
a silver hair
belie my youthful heart
yet all i see
beyond the vale
speaks joy now to impart
when dusk begins
i hear a song
beyond the shadows growing
as if a voice
strong yet still
told of a love worth knowing
i tremble like
a reed that bends
to wind's caressing force
the dance so fierce
the move so strong
a rushing river's course
could i but learn
to match the curve
to find the way to living
would i then be
one newly born
forever one forgiving

scarred

it's good friday and i'm musing on the whole forgiveness thing that the blood shed so long ago yet immediately efficacious is to me. it's especially relevant as i think about the idea of friendship and how some people, without explanation, choose to unfriend you on facebook. petty that it should bother me perhaps it still cuts especially when you think what a low quality of relationship that is in the first place (many of the "friends" i have on there i barely know) and so for someone to find my name and click "unfriend" communicates a vindictive spirit in my mind. i've only done this to a handful of people and it was mostly due to their persistence in bothering me or my heart being unable to see how they moved on with their life.
but beyond facebook i'm thinking of all those moments in the day when i have the opportunity to choose forgiveness. and it is indeed a choice and only available because He made a way. now when the hurt rises up because this or that person treats me as disposable i can remember that in the ledger of debts i don't deserve to have a 0 balance. i don't deserve to have an inheritance with the saints including my dad in glory. because of that i can offer again and again love when i feel hurt. i can choose to believe that every person can change, even the ones i'm tempted to doubt. someday that friend and i will stand before the throne with all the dross burned away and we'll worship for eternity because of those scars. in light of that this good friday i'm grateful.

mum's the word

sometimes
it's better to shut up
think a moment before you share
maybe i don't need to know
maybe the wound your words leave
isn't worth getting it off your back
perhaps it's not what you think
perhaps you misunderstood
could it be that you were wrong
all those years of smiling
when behind you disliked me
better not to share it now
leave me reeling as you feel better
since after all you realise i'm not
the person you thought i was
did i even need to know that
instead i'm left with you
not being the person i depended on
in a world already empty
of one i counted on to accept me
no matter what
is it necessary to know
you all aren't trustworthy
that i am not accepted
thanks you made the world
even smaller and sadder
dwindling the list of people
i can run to when i have a bad dream
please think about it next time
you rock the next generation's world
forcing me to be the strong one
in the end i'll be better
for having only Him to rely on
but did it have to be
the road of sorrows
could we find a way
to choose love next time
and offer grace not grief
sometimes

battle ready glimpses

i turn my fingers right side up
my palms cupped to receive
let stress and worry slip away
find faith just to believe
twisted metal and ruined flesh
a broken world is strong
but in the silence i find hope
and peace to carry on
long years of waiting facing foes
the battle is within
when real trials come i'll lift my head
i know who's going to win

i'm bowing here
but not in defeat
as one about to rise
every nerve attuned
the greater the odds
the greater His glory
unwrap the linen cloth
let fire come forth
no foe will stand
no evil prosper
as we lift up
hearts united