scarred

it's good friday and i'm musing on the whole forgiveness thing that the blood shed so long ago yet immediately efficacious is to me. it's especially relevant as i think about the idea of friendship and how some people, without explanation, choose to unfriend you on facebook. petty that it should bother me perhaps it still cuts especially when you think what a low quality of relationship that is in the first place (many of the "friends" i have on there i barely know) and so for someone to find my name and click "unfriend" communicates a vindictive spirit in my mind. i've only done this to a handful of people and it was mostly due to their persistence in bothering me or my heart being unable to see how they moved on with their life.
but beyond facebook i'm thinking of all those moments in the day when i have the opportunity to choose forgiveness. and it is indeed a choice and only available because He made a way. now when the hurt rises up because this or that person treats me as disposable i can remember that in the ledger of debts i don't deserve to have a 0 balance. i don't deserve to have an inheritance with the saints including my dad in glory. because of that i can offer again and again love when i feel hurt. i can choose to believe that every person can change, even the ones i'm tempted to doubt. someday that friend and i will stand before the throne with all the dross burned away and we'll worship for eternity because of those scars. in light of that this good friday i'm grateful.