the scent of spring

awakening
it's a well-worn descriptor of the time of year
when the cherry blossoms abound and all
the world seems fresh and new and the
mountains tower up grand and sudden as
though the earth had burst open and thrust
their snowy peaks into being just yesterday
when in reality they hide always behind the
usual smoggy air except in spring when the
awakening
of their freshly anointed heights shines bright
and the world smells like life in all its dirty
growing with fresh earth and smoky leaves
the time when winter shakes off the darkness
and the sun runs north again and things seem
possible even though they were buried some
months ago it's coming now closer and with
expectation that dreams can come true as
awakening
His voice calls forth breath and drinking deep
the world begins to spin right side up
as smells, sights, sounds of hope come out
and gratitude wells up within that another
year is starting full of endless memories to
be made but most of all full of now when
He can be known and adored and all will
be well as the journey starts today with
awakening

harvest moon

it's coming up yonder
up slow through the pine
it's glowing and beaming
i wish it were mine
it's shining its light
over lovers and liars
it's steady and peaceful
whatever transpires
it's big and it's solid
though so far up high
my insides go soft
as i gaze to the sky
it's wrapping the world
in its blanket of glow
as it reflects sun's glory
i'm reminded i know
it's certain as tides
coming in going out
all bowing to One
in control beyond doubt
it's coming up yonder
bringing hope in its wake
as i lay my head down
such comfort i take

telescoping

down the lane
the tree-lined lane
the future comes
at varying speeds
if i run it comes
quickly as a fox
if i stroll it comes
quickly as a fox
i cannot stop it
as the trees whiz by
it comes regardless
qué será será
and i
i
lonely little i
i must choose
if my steps are slow
or if i run to meet it
sometimes i look left
but i cannot leave
sometimes i glimpse
the sun shining through
i must look straight
face my fears
with hope
down the lane
the tree-lined lane

twilight in the park

the light grows dim
it's almost dark
the people all
have left the park

so i am left
alone at last
to face the truth
my time has past

you did not come
your seat is cold
my youthful dreams
have now grown old

i've loved and lost
and hoped in vain
that you would come
around again

the eleventh hour
is drawing nigh
perhaps it's time
to say goodbye

these human eyes
but see in part
perhaps those words
confused my heart

if you're still there
beyond my sight
come quickly love
before the night

then teach me how
to trust anew
that all He said
will yet come true

sarah

it's no use i'm afraid
the time is long past
those dreams deep inside
won't come true at last

i laugh yes i know
it may also be wrong
but you haven't been
in my shoes for this long

that day still burns bright
He promised yes He did
that these dried-up arms
would soon bear a kid

at first i thought maybe
a miracle would come
but days turned to years
and still not a son

i'm not proud of the time
i took over control
that plan b still taunts me
and eats at my soul

i don't know how he does it
that's a man i suppose
his eyes still light up
the faith in him glows

how can You still use me
this shriveled-up wreck
to end in such failure
is this worth my trek?

if You are who You say
here's my last bleeding cry
make good on Your promise
before my last breath i sigh

the monster behind door number 3

is there a moment in every life when they
face the monster that sucks the blood that
pumps through their veins and they realize
that this is it this is what will finally do me
in and if there is a moment is it fleeting or
subconscious or do some lives see the end
in all its gory monstrousness and wake up
sweating to the realization that my days are
numbered
and so what do i do now do i bury my head
back in the sand and hope this epiphany was
merely indigestion or do i run pack my bags
and really live for the few years months hours
that remain and how do i tally up the past so
it makes sense in light of how close this thing
lurks
does He give other options when the person
opens door number 3 and finds the monster
can they choose door number 1 or maybe 10
and does it really matter anyway since all
will come to the monster's door someday but
what is really frightening is how i am feeling so
cowardly

existential crisis?

i'm too young to die
i'm too old to live
the wheels are still turning
i've naught left to give

my heart is so full
as i sit here alone
my friends have been many
i'm still on my own

i've built such great castles
but none that are seen
dreamt dreams beyond counting
not sure what they mean

what's left as i ponder
how fleeting life is
isn't held in a hand
or won through a quiz

i may not have mattered
in the grand scheme of things
still this one truth i know
He's worth all life brings