fear

Everyone consciously and unconsciously adopts life mottos as they age. Some idealistic, some practical, some attainable, some less so. A line from a favourite movie of mine, Strictly Ballroom, resonated with me immediately the first time I heard it: "Vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias".

Simply put in English: a life lived in fear is a life half-lived.

Daily life right now pulsates with fear. Turn on the tv. Chat with a friend. Greet a stranger (well, better not unless you yell from a great distance). Unprecedented times of uncertainty and what happens now is on every one's lips.

Example: the grocery store. Signs proclaiming the requisite 6 feet of distance (in aisles that are only 5 feet wide). The checkout line. I stand patiently at the sign but the lady ahead hesitates and does not move immediately to her spot. Instead she looks at me with something akin to loathing and says in a tight voice, "get back! that's not 6 feet away!" Mortified, amused, feeling like a slug she would like to salt, I respond, "I'm waiting at the sign." Fighting back tears--I dislike confrontation especially unnecessary--I gratefully engaged with the sympathetic cashier who recognised my innocence and we agreed that grace is the only answer.

Grace, love, trust. These things fight fear. I know how the Story ends, so I don't have to fear the bumps in my story. 

Perhaps you say I don't understand. I'm a traveller who loves a good adventure. Yet just as anyone else from the moment I wake up fears clamour for dominion. I am an unemployed, over-educated ageing single woman who has survived cancer and lost a parent. And those are only the external arenas that fear would like to rule. Much more significant are the thousand thoughts that analyse every outcome and every interaction.

I choose not to live in fear. I choose to believe that I may have planned a way, but He directs my steps.

I choose moreover to live in expectation and hope. He gives good gifts and I want to find them through trust and perseverance. So live a full life. Leave fear behind. Trust.