Bport or Hallmark Movie Set

In the greater Portland (OR) area there's an upscale mall that in classic prep style transports you to another world. It's Christmastime and walking into the small outdoor cross of shops one feels as if they've entered the set of a movie, probably a classic Hallmark Christmas one. The mall is clean, almost eerily, and if it's raining there are umbrellas available. Christmas music discreetly sounds through the growing gloom and the lights twinkle, not a single one burnt out.
Santa hosts children for pictures in the center but no screams are heard: decorum reigns. Shops are perfectly manicured and the smell of flavored popcorn and nuts intoxicate the senses. Many of the shoppers, perhaps browsing before a movie, are dressing in perfect fashion--understated yet elegant. Like a movie, the shoppers slip into acting as if they knew the happily-ever-after lay just around the corner, and time and money functioned differently. As if
for a moment
the uncertain
future coming
forgotten though
still a chance
laid its head
silently and
waiting for
the moment
to pass while
hope buoyed
up by dreams
untarnished
wrapped its arms
warm and safe
around waifs
longing for
a different
end to this
the story
we all must
walk out alone
the today
leading
unrelentingly
to the sure
tomorrow.

under a hazy moon

blurred eyes in a darkened room
the world goes soft like a hazy moon
when the defroster breaks
and your heart aches
try to rub the way clear
don't give into fear
is there still a way out
figure what life's about
lift your head a little bit
this isn't the end of it
where there's life there's hope
get off the slippery slope
friends may let you down
and never come around
you will love and lose
but still get to choose
wrap the broken pieces tight
limp on through the night
time will come and go
someday you will know
the past can never win
as long as you begin again
mending clearing growing
the future beyond knowing
there's beauty in the breaking
a spun glass you're making
the hotter the fire gets
the less you have regrets
however low you lie
look up at the sky
gaze on that hazy moon
tomorrow will come soon

light's end

tell me a story
at the end of the day
one that is certain
to drive shadows away
let it be filled
like the day is with light
with a promise of joy
that will ward off the night
paint faeries who dance
and a prince who is true
to fight all this evil
the maiden to rescue
the glow's fading fast
from the tall sun-kissed hill
i feel the cold creep
and my heart won't stay still
please don't pause now
when my breathing is slow
the time slips away
as the hourglass runs low
i've used the last match
brought castles from the flame
now help me to see
it was not all in vain
with so much behind
and even more at stake
i'm frozen alone
can't see which way to take
speak soft in my ear
if there's hope to be found
this side of glory
with my feet on the ground
tell me the story
make every word count
the silver cord's spinning
as my fears start to mount
the future is dim
but i hold out my hand
will you please save me
i know that you can

What's your type?

In a digression from my usual poem I offer a book review.

In one fell yet skilful swoop, Merve Emre destroys years of personal affinity for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator in her mindblowingly brilliant work, The Personality Brokers.

Having taken the professional MBTI in undergrad and finding in it out of all other personality tests a deeper understanding of myself and why I got along with certain people better than others, I/E, N/S, F/T and P/J became conversation starters and interpersonal saviours. From fun dinner conversations with fellow INFP's (which, incidentally is the same letter combination of the authors of the MBTI) to arguments with people decrying my I-ness or P-ness, it has in many ways permeated my life until now. In her book, she explores the true history of the test and the pseudo-science that it is based upon, and she does it with such a spoonful of excellent writing that I could not but swallow it.

Emre graciously paints a biography of 2 (or 3 including Mary) women who made the MBTI a quest for their lives in order to bring understanding between people--and what is more noble than that? She almost elicits sympathy for their cause with her generous portrayal of their difficulties and determination, while the simple facts--sketchy Jungian science, making results fit the theories, and racist/sexist roots (perhaps ironically) among many--belie the validity of the test and in the end leave the reader regretfully dismissing it as a true test of personality (if there is such a thing).

Emre's voice comes through as a call to respect individualism, which I can embrace being (since MBTI is discredited) a 4 on the Eneagram (perhaps I should investigate that test as well...sigh). There is something about humanity that naturally looks for similarities and differences--enter personality testing--but the darker side of herding people into convenient boxes disallows growth and change, and has at its heart the shady world of statistics. Using an argument with personality fallacy at its heart, INFP's/4's are perhaps more drawn than others to personality tests because 1) they cannot agree with most yet 2) they long to figure out why they are so unique (and at once hope and fear they are not). The question also lingers...is the fixture on individualism a human characteristic or a Western (read: American) one? Is our need to be unique innate? But I digress.

The Personality Brokers comes at a perfect time when now, more than ever, Americans need to grasp truly what the solution is to individual conflicts. When is what bothers me about you grounds for censure and when is it merely a difference to be respected? Do our unifying tendencies as a society hide darker aspects such as weeding out misanthropes and nonconformists? While she does not answer these questions per se, she makes a profound statement about the current political climate (fitting in light of Tuesday) that is worthy of note on which I will close:

"For even today, politics remains chained to discourses of personality in ways that are as crude as, if not cruder than, Murray's assessment of Hitler. Most people want to like their democratically elected leaders or want them to be likable or, at the very least, presentable and polite--the kind of man you could invite over for a beer, the kind of woman who might read sweet stories to your children. Sometimes it seems that we are more shocked by violations of common courtesy than we are by unfair or oppressive policies."