unconditional identity

what if for just a moment
i stopped the questions
the constant asking
what do i want
and said
what do You want
then what if i listened
if i stopped the noise
deafening my ears
to hear what You would say
would i understand
everywhere i turn
the persuasive distractions
drown out You and all You
would speak to me
like that first serpent
they're questioning
that You are good
that Your way is peace
they hiss that You're withholding
something i need
i want
though You've never given me
cause to doubt
from before time began
yet sadly again and again
i indulge their lies
You tell me You will take care of me
yet still i stress and grasp and worry
You tell me that You will never leave me or forsake me
yet i cry with loneliness
You tell me that the path of pain bears fruit of righteousness
when i walk trusting in Your hand
yet i beg for another way
You tell me that the end of my story is glory
yet i shiver with fear at sounds in the night
how could i not choose You?
let those moments i stop
lift my hands anew
become longer and longer
string together like pearls
until
unending

iridescence
is my life
and i look like You