at the end of nowhere

the rain is steady as my pulse
i'm here again out of step
even though my feet keep moving
laying my head on the rock
at the end of a weary day of running
from the mess i made myself
leaving friends i cannot face
pushing everyone else on ahead
while i lay down one last night
before i face my fears
loneliness a comfortable pain
in light of being known
hoping against hope it's not over
will this night hold glory
will i wrestle until He blesses
or see a ladder into heaven
or is it just another night
with another day of deception
that rolls one after the other
until it overwhelms me
why was i given two?
longing for a new story
for a new name
for a new hope
longing for rest from memories
what might have been
it's still raining
my heart's still beating
give me strength to lay down
at the end of nowhere
maybe find joy someday