as we planned for the international night, the group voted me as the program organizer, the one who directed and made sure everything went swimmingly. as a reluctant leader who finds her faults glare all too clearly, I wasn't sure I wanted to have such responsibility. I knew I could do it, but I feared both taking too much control as well as offending people. testing points came right away, as someone confronted me about how i related to them and i calmly explained myself and then went away and cried. but the night went successfully, in spite of all the bumps, and several people sincerely thanked me for my role. being a leader is above all being a servant, and I know that He who modeled true leadership helped me through each step.
another stretching point came on the saturday street outreach to S* when 100 tracts were shoved into my hand with a cheery observation that if we ran out, there were more in the box! i swallowed my american pride that said tracts were annoying and ineffective and was surprised by how many people took them and thanked me. in the end, we passed out over 3000 tracts. all things to all men in order to save some, with this motto I cannot limit God.
in the end, being a servant for a Christian is simply being available whenever, wherever, to do whatever He asks. from politely refuting brainwashing accusations under the shadow of Darwin's statue, to painting a rose on a child's hand, my prayer is that every action and word is a testimony to His love and grace. yes, it is stretching because sin hinders my readiness. and always there will be people with whom, in my own strength, i want nothing to do. but He who promised is faithful. to that I cling.
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