You complete me

click. with a simple press of a button a shimmering screen transports me to a world where a girl at the end of hope finds her prince has come to rescue her. where the girl who has nothing somehow, against all odds, attracts the the man who has everything. lines like, "i've been looking for you all night. i think, somehow, i've been looking for you all my life," thrill the heart of millions of girls hoping that this imaginary man exists somewhere, apart from the smelly breath, insensitive comments, gamer boys all around. she hopes that he will come, be the one to complete her, to sweep her into his arms, to repair the wounds that a world at war with beauty has made, and above all to love her.
click. the movie or television show always ends. before the dirty dishes and chores left undone. before the words spoken in haste that cannot be erased. before the failures that not only he but she will make. before real life unfolds.
so what then? do we as women throw out the ideal, the belief that some man exists who will hold us, never let us go and always, always love us? do we embrace cynicism tinged with feminism that while it will not keep us warm at night at least it will keep us right? in such a dichotomy my generation balances with frightening efficacy: either we chase an illusion ignoring reality or we accept defeat ignoring hope and both blind us to truth.
the truth is we were made to desire love and when we realise that His love completes, endures, and transforms us we can accept that like us, all whom we love will make mistakes. should we find "true love" in this life we can aspire to be a picture of the One whose arms encompass His bride, and yet we can also offer mercy and grace to each other as well recognise the imperfect world in which we live. 

Sundry Chiang Mai Travel Tips

It is easy to begin speaking in superlatives when you visit Chiang Mai in January. The air is clear (if you get there before the burning starts), the sun is warm, the sky is blue, the trees and flowers are vibrant and the temperature is a balmy 26C/80F on average. Unfortunately, it's no secret how lovely it is here and a short walk around the old town will have you craving a few less tourists. Fortunately, through having a local friend and some good tips I pass on a few ideas to get off the beaten path, save some money, and/or find some peaceful beauty.

A practical tip first off: The Promenada Resort Mall on the east/southeast side of town offers a free, yes, free shuttle every hour to the Thapae Gate. If you happen to be staying outside of the main area, or you want to visit a big mall, or you just get dropped off there by a friend it is a useful and nice service. The Song Taow was clean and there was no catch. I rode it in and then, a couple hours later, rode it back (the stop near the gate is the Amora Thapae Hotel). It stops on the way back at two other places, one of which is near the night bazaar. At the weekend it runs all the way until 22.58. So if you're looking to save some taxi fare and your trajectory includes theirs, it is worth a look.

Near to Chiang Mai is the Ratchaphruek Garden Park, a large (200 acres) garden with a myriad of smaller areas ranging from orchid houses to lotus ponds. You can walk for hours and still not see everything. It is only 100Baht to get in (for foreign tourists) and if you go early enough (as many Thai do to exercise) it is even free. Arriving by 9 or 10 in the morning you beat the crowds and can enjoy the peaceful surroundings. More information.

Souvenirs are often on the mind in Thailand, and one small side-street in the old town holds a hidden gem. Dor-Dek is an organization committed to rescuing street children and educating and employing them. Their prices are reasonable, their items are cute, and you are supporting a good cause. To get there, simply head directly west from Thaphae Gate and keep following the main street until the intersection with Rachaphakhina Rd (WaWeecoffee and Yamaha on opposite corners). Take a left on this road and turn right on the first little side street. It is a building or two in on the right.

Waterfalls dance in abundance in the hills surrounding Chiang Mai, but if you are willing to go a bit further out of town there is one worth the drive. Bua Tong Waterfall is north/northeast of the city about 40km. The stream cascades down level after level of polished limestone, which in most places is not slippery. Take off your shoes and enjoy a climb up the rocks. Steeper/slippery spots often have ropes to assist. This can get crowded on the weekend or when it's hot. Try a quiet weekday. No charge and there are bathrooms and concessions at the parking area. Location.

Chiang Mai is beautiful. I enjoyed my stay and I hope you will as well. Feel free to add any tips you know of to my list!

echoes

behind the crumbling stones lay a king
regal air in spite of a decaying facade
gazing beyond the melee of aliens
besieged by locals scrambling for silver
caught between graves robbed and
simply trying to make ends meet
camels rise and fall in endless servitude
slaves to the whim of cruel or kind masters
warding off the sands of time
beyond the still stones resisting oblivion
swarms of buildings rise piling one on
another with windows unfinished
cars honking and jostling for advantage
life in all its sordid glory gasps, fights
holding on to the whisper of a hope
past days of splendor yet to come

Dartmoor

sometimes loneliness is a gift
when the world slows down
quiets long enough to listen
when I am forced to talk to the only One
there
the only One who always listens
behind the worlds He waits
when I run out
when nothing distracts
I start to listen too and to
these hilly rugged moments
where grasses crushed by wind
by rain, by foot and hoof
still embrace the sunshine
turning blades toward the southern sea
pause
finding when feeling most forsaken
I am never alone
so I lower my face to the storm
a thousand droplets like daggers
one foot at a time
when the path runs out
I step from soggy hillock over marsh
looking beyond
finding hopeful sights ahead
keeping the end in sight
one
sometimes loneliness is a gift
when my Beloved speaks
I ache to hear His voice
so I wait here awhile

Christmas (Jer 20.9)

Today is 25 December, the day known around the world as Christmas. While millions gather with friends and family I am alone, partly by choice. Being in a foreign country without family, I chose to housesit rather than suffer the awkwardness of asking to spend Christmas with people not related. I wonder as I wander, as the old hymn goes, if this is not the easiest Christmas option there is. Gone are the family squabbles, the required niceties, the false gratitude for a thoughtless gift. Instead, I do what I want when I want and cater to only me. How utterly selfish. 

Thinking over most of the places where I’ve recently laid my head I realize that I have been humbled to accept the warm hospitality of people in many different cities and countries. While it may be more blessed to give than receive it is definitely more humbling to receive. And then I reflect, in my selfish lonely Christmas, how He who came came in utter helplessness--a baby--putting Himself in the receiving position. He became a man--humans must recognize their utter inability to save themselves--so that He could save us. He communicated love in our language. He changed the game.

Love incarnated Himself at Christmas. He stripped bare all our selfishness and made the way that we could choose love. The only way we can, in fact. Once He transforms our hearts we begin to grow in not only desiring Him but desiring to love others, in spite of their uglinesses. I find, with such a heart, Christmas alone is actually not easy. Even for an introvert.

The streets of the big city are lined with people rushing in and out of shops. News reports of more racial violence and tensions between religions. The empty churches hear mouthed platitudes and universalist drivel when the answer is in the very Scriptures they mouth and the truth they pass quickly over. The only answer to Ferguson is Jesus. The only answer to family personality clashes is Jesus. The only answer to a lost and dying world is Jesus. Jesus who entered our mess and made a way to love. I’m overwhelmed this solitary Christmas by how radical, unequivocal and shattering that truth is, and I pray it continues to transform me and you.  

Merry Christmas

Canal Run

the broken ice on the puddles
glints like glass in the sun
the air on my cheeks
feels like shards of the same
thump, thump, swish, swish
besides a faint roar from the M6
the only sounds are pounding feet
with my windbreaker excepting
surprised squawks from ducks
a feather balances bereft of its swan
on a thin sheen of ice
the canal sits still as the air
occasional smoke drifts casually up
from the inhabited boats
the sun is low in the sky
as if welcoming evening rather than noon
beyond lie green fields, pastures
a horse grazing peacefully
I breathe deeply the English winter

Advent

in the silence
in the secret
I can feel it very strong

like a whisper
in the darkness
something's coming with the dawn

though the masses
stop their hearing
not a soul will miss the song

from each hovel
to rich tower
His truth will triumph wrong

my pilgrim way
can lonely seem
yet know there stands a throng

the millions upon
millions wait
in whose ranks I do belong

the day now fades
I hold to hope
my Love won't tarry long

I'll fly away
eternal light
"Come quickly, Lord" my song