a short ditty

there's ups and downs
there's outs and ins
and everything between

there's highs and lows
and far to go's
and stuff along the way

there's news and olds
there's hots and colds
and memories grow dim

there's laughs and tears
and hates and fears
and things you've left behind

there's life's and deaths
there's hopes and loss
and choices in each moment

excerpt from my NaNoWriMo novel

         Sometimes I wake up and I find that I can’t remember the way my father looked when he smiled. Or I struggle to trace the outline of our apartment building in Brooklyn. I couldn’t tell you what the sky looked like when I got the news that my mother was gone. But to this day I can close my eyes and vividly see Pierre’s face, his tailored jeans and black turtleneck sweater on that winter evening in Sydney. I feel the soft sweater dress I was wearing and the pressure of his hand on my arm as he leaned in to greet me with a gentle kiss on the cheek. I remember the darkening sky held promise of a coming storm and the breeze had picked up. If I tilt my head I can hear his rich baritone voice reflecting on any number of things. Even if I wanted to, I can’t forget any moment of that night.

NaNoWriMo Bio

who am I?
the wind doth cry
to stop the lie
that I must die
and so I try
to cry fie
and paint the sky
so full of why
that when I die
my work will fly
and none deny
what I supply
does please the eye
with words thereby
and so farewell

skeleton

it's chilly here
the wind goes through
my defenses are down
I'm open to stares
I know they're laughing
children passing
as I stand
exposed
I'm rooted to the ground
wishing I could hide
sink into warm earth
but I'm bound still
forced to wait
'til Kingdom come

late on a friday night

the bus is crowded with awkward faces
but it's not the usual portland weirdness
the lady across the aisle looks like death
or something warmed over with blood
and a skeleton just walked by
the girl in front of me has lines on her face
not from age but makeup in cow shapes
some hipsters complete with flannel got on
oh wait, that's normal

maybe that zombie apocalypse happened
or maybe it's just the end of october

joyful angst

fall has wrapped his arms around the world

blowing fire on the maples

breathing a cold edge to soft breezes

on the corner the chestnut shakes

dropping spiked burs to the ground

inside each hides a savory fruit

when roasted over crackling flames

a taste of snow to come

i stand beneath the chestnut

feeling the warmth of the dying sun

whispers of cold nights on the wind

my heart is torn with love of fall

his pernicious kindness draws me in

fed by the harvest of summer’s death

chilled by the wasteland of winter’s hope

can i tear open prickly capsules

yet not bleed to find life-giving food?

if it costs me nothing

is it love?

it cannot rain today
the weather must stay dry
clouds won't come along
but i can't tell you why

there will be sun today
and skies of bluest blue
dark clouds will hide their face
when you come into view

and even birds will sing
although you may not hear
and i will smile as though
the weather's always clear

it cannot rain today
still i am whispering
the wind ignores my sigh
and all the leaves are turning

in vain i search the sky
for what may never be
the sun has gone away
til you return to me