leaving

it's definitely your voice

reassuring timbre i know so well

but the words changed

or maybe my hearing

i used to think

you knew it all

could speak any language

right any wrong

but those shoes don't fit anymore

now the world is bigger

i miss the comfort

protection and safety

band-aids for my owies

your confident calm

but you don't have

all the answers

i have to grow up

rely on bigger shoulders

familiar with my weight

and hands with holes that hold

promise

i'm sitting in the sun

for now

but to the west

i see dark clouds

i thought june

a month of sun

of love and weddings

and hope

so what's this stuff

hitting my head

like persistent drops

of doubt?

is that a rainbow?

dichotomy

if what i want

i cannot have

and what i have

i do not want

then how do i

want what i have

and have no want

for what i don't?