How long have I been asleep? She thought to herself. The fly buzzing in the corner of the room had woken her with its irritating noise. As she reached for the swatter she felt a twinge in her back. Amazing how parts break down against our will. No, not really amazing. Frustrating. After killing the fly she shuffled to the kitchen absently noting the clock said 4.30. She figured from the dim glow it was afternoon, but since she kept the shutters down and the curtains drawn she couldn’t be sure. Didn’t really matter anyway since one hour flowed into another, interspersed with moments of pain and hunger. Now was a hunger moment and so she pulled out some bread to toast, wondering how much longer she could go without shopping. Once a month was her goal; her limited foray into the world of light and people. The one block to the grocers seemed interminable and the people so chipper that she could barely stand it. People, for her, belonged behind a TV screen, a written page or in her memories where they could never hurt her again.

She wandered back to the chair and put her feet on the ottoman, sighing contentedly to herself and then wincing as a sharp pain went through her body. Her pillbox stood ready at her side and she popped a couple prescription painkillers and waited for the blessed numbness. It was the only comfort she had, that and the solitude. Dying was a lonely business, and after years of painful living she demanded that the world let her do it her way. And so the world swirled on outside, little knowing the person within. The ones who had cared--if they had, she thought--had died or been so thoroughly rebuffed that they stayed away. The rest ran their busy, colorful, bright lives of noise and people, only occasionally wondering who lived in the small, quiet bungalow at the end of the lane.

thoughts on common knowledge

How often have you overheard someone begin with, “well my friend says that...”? We as humans are constantly re-evaluating fact in light of common knowledge and experience. This may come as a surprise in the digital age, but should all the experts denounce something and a friend enjoy it, we will be tempted if not succumb to believe that experience trumps. Of course, this is intricately tied to what friend is talking (how we feel about them) as well as our internal desire to believe one way or another. Good old subjective thought wins out over objectivity nine times out of ten.

There is hope, however. We can learn to suspend judgment and weigh the issues at hand, by firstly cultivating an awareness that we do assume with astonishing rapidity and frequency. Being aware of how often we are prone to stubborn belief even in the face of indisputable fact, we can then start to dissect in any given situation what is causing us to believe. This is not to say that our belief is wrong, or that we may be justified in our stubbornness, but rather to caution us from not weighing all the aspects of a given situation. Hope against hope is the exception, not the norm. We have been given a rational mind for a reason, we need not forego it because we are lazy. Faith and reason are not mutually exclusive. 

The significance blossoms further when we think of situations that perhaps do not have an objective answer. If we cultivate a open impartial attitude that cautiously avoids dismissive judgments, then we will not callously dismiss people, for example. We will realize that in spite of our subjective feelings there may be more ways to view the person than we have felt, and we can empathetically relate to them in more positive manners. Our feelings, while legitimate and to some extent unavoidable, need not dictate abysmal treatment.

We must also realize that our reactions, while emotionally justified, are not rationally consistent. We may take the opinions of a friend in one area yet not in another. And should the same friend criticize our actions, beware! we may then reverse our opinions in light of the status quo after all. To some extent we are all hypocrites and need be aware of this propensity. At the same time, we are always growing in our knowledge and relationships are key in this. As long as we are aware of our inclination toward undue weight on opinions, we can continue to evaluate, grow and explore our world.